The Reality of Weddings (And Why Photography Should Never Be an Afterthought)

After years in the wedding industry, capturing hundreds of couples and stories, there’s something we’ve come to realise more and more—the wedding industry moves fast, and too often couples are caught up in that speed. They’re trying to make decisions quickly, tick things off the list, and book all the “must-haves” without always thinking about why they’re doing it.

But here’s the thing: weddings don’t have to feel awkward, rushed, or transactional. They don’t have to feel like a checklist.

We’ve seen weddings where couples admit afterwards, “It went by in a blur,” or “I didn’t even get to talk to half the people I wanted to.” And the truth is, it doesn’t have to be like that.

One of the biggest traps we see is couples booking their most important vendors—like their photographer or videographer—over a quick email and a budget line in a spreadsheet. And we get it, budgeting is part of wedding planning. But when it comes to choosing the people who will literally document your memories, is “cheapest available” really the right filter?

Your Photographer and Videographer Don’t Just Show Up – They Shape the Experience

Your florist’s job is done once the bouquet is handed over. Your caterer packs up after dessert. Your DJ goes home after the final song. But your photographer and videographer? They’re with you from your most nervous, private moments in the morning all the way through to the chaos of the dance floor.

They’re there in the room when you’re getting zipped into your dress. They’re there when you’re reading your vows. They’re there when you’re sharing a quiet look across the table in between courses.

And long after the food is eaten and the decorations packed away, they’re the ones who preserve it all.

So why are we still seeing couples choose photographers like they’re buying a toaster on sale?

It’s like going to get a tattoo—something that’s permanent and deeply personal—and just picking the cheapest artist available. Would you do that? Maybe, if you didn’t care about the result. But if you do? If you want your story captured in a way that reflects you—your personalities, your connection, your style—then the photographer you choose isn’t just a vendor. They’re your storyteller.

Budget Is Real, But Priorities Matter More

We’re not here to shame people for having budgets. That’s real life. What we’re saying is: budget shouldn’t be hypothetical. So many couples set an arbitrary number based on what a wedding blog told them, or what a friend spent. But if photography (or any vendor, really) is truly a priority for you, it’s worth reordering your budget around that.

Maybe your top priority is an epic band. Maybe it's a stylist who creates magic with every detail. That’s awesome! But know what your priorities are, and start there. Because too often we see people spend big on things they’ll only see for a few hours—then skimp on the one thing they’ll have forever.

Your wedding photos (and videos) are how you’ll remember this day when the memories start to blur.

Comfort Isn’t a Bonus—It’s Essential

One thing we’ve come to believe more than ever is that comfort creates connection—and comfort with your photographer is everything.

We’ve seen what happens when couples don’t meet their photographer beforehand, or don’t share their ideas and expectations. The day arrives, and suddenly you’ve got a stranger asking you to be vulnerable and intimate in front of their lens. That’s a big ask. And it leads to stiff, disconnected photos—no matter how talented the photographer may be.

But when there’s trust? When we’ve chatted beforehand, laughed about your awkwardness in front of the camera, and heard your vision for the day? That’s when the magic happens. That’s when the photos become art, not just documentation.

So please, meet with your photographer before you book them. Talk about how you want to be captured. Tell them what makes you uncomfortable. Share what moments matter most. That kind of conversation isn’t just helpful—it’s everything.

The Regrets We Hear (And How to Avoid Them)

We can’t count how many times we’ve had bridesmaids or guests at weddings come up to us and say something like:

“I wish I had gone with a photographer I actually liked.”
“Ours were fine... but we didn’t feel like ourselves in the photos.”
“I regret not spending a bit more—it just wasn’t us.”

It’s heartbreaking, because it’s avoidable. And we don’t say this to scare couples—we say it because we care about your experience. Because we know how powerful it is to hold a photo in your hands that feels like the real you, in a moment you never want to forget.

So What’s the “Right” Way to Plan a Wedding?

Truthfully? There isn’t one.

There’s no checklist you must follow. No tradition you have to include. What matters most is that you feel like yourselves—on the day, in your photos, and for years to come as you look back.

Prioritise what matters. Communicate with your team. Choose people you trust and actually want to spend the day with.

Because this isn’t just a wedding. It’s your wedding. And the memories you make—and how you remember them—are worth everything.