What I’d Say to Every Couple Planning a Wedding – 10 Years In
After over a decade of photographing and filming weddings, we wanted to share something real.
We recently uploaded a video to our YouTube channel that strips away the noise, trends, and pressure — and speaks directly to couples who are in the middle of planning their wedding.
This post is a breakdown of that video, with some thoughts and reflections that we hope make your planning feel a little clearer, more intentional, and more you.
Start With Priorities, Not Pinterest
It’s easy to start planning your wedding by diving into inspiration boards and comparing budgets. But we always encourage couples to start with a simple question:
“What’s most important to us on the day?”
Once you know your top priorities — whether it’s photography, location, the ceremony, food, or time with family — let your budget reflect that.
If photography or videography is one of those key things, then don’t just book your dream creative and move on — talk to them. Involve them in the process. Ask them about the light, the timeline, the best places to shoot. You’re not just booking a service, you’re co-creating an experience.
Your Vendor Team Should Feel Like a Team
This part matters more than most people realise.
We’ve seen weddings where the energy between vendors flows beautifully — and others where things get tricky behind the scenes. Sometimes, vendors can come in with ego, trying to take over the flow of the day, which can lead to tension and compromised moments.
That energy affects everyone — even if it’s subtle.
The best weddings happen when your vendors:
Respect each other’s craft
Communicate clearly
Share a similar ethos around creating a calm, collaborative experience
Take time to speak to your celebrant, planner, photographer, and videographer ahead of the day. Make sure the vibe feels aligned.
Let Go of the Pressure
Social media, magazines, styled shoots — they all have their place, but they can also leave couples second-guessing themselves. The day becomes about what looks good instead of what feels right.
We’ve seen it over and over: couples wiping away tears quickly to protect their makeup… holding back instead of leaning in.
We’re here to tell you: don’t.
Let yourself feel the day. Let the emotion show. That’s what you’ll want to remember. Not perfection — but presence.
Remember What It’s Really About
Your wedding isn’t a performance.
It’s a pause.
It’s a moment to breathe.
It’s a day to gather the people you love and celebrate your connection in real life — not just for the camera.
When you lead with that energy, everything else follows.
With love,
Ryan & the Feather & Finch team